il s’agit de vous et moi.

I love estimation. Aside from that, I love to prove others wrong. I am the type of person that you see in TV or movies that would just go with their guts.

I remember once when I was in elementary school, we had a competition where the teacher would give each teams an amount, such as a liter or 500 cc, and the teams would have to use the given containers to take out the exact amount of water. The closest team will win.

When my turn came to represent my team, my designated amount was 10 deciliter. And my container was a sandwich-shaped plastic box. When I put that under the water in the bin to take out 10 deciliter of water, I remember one of my friend who sat in the front row was yelling at me that it is too much and that I should take out some water. But I went with guts and counted up to 10 in my head, as if each second represents 1 deciliter.

My happiness came from the moment when the teacher measured the water in the container to be exactly 10 deciliter. No one has done that before in my class. No matter what measurement it is, never an EXACT, and I did it.

With that gut feeling, I knew what I could do and what I can not do. I knew I could play basketball, I knew I could get a perfect score on that test, and I knew which colleges I could get into, and the percentage of chance that I might not be able to.

This system has worked for me until college. I guess somehow along the line, I under-estimated myself and thought that my intelligence can only allow me to get a B in college. Well, I was dead wrong. In fact, I could’ve been a straight A student in my college, just as well as I was in high school.

And after college, the system hasn’t worked since. The hardest part of this economy on me is the fact that I don’t know where I am in accordance to the market. What kind of job will I be able to grab? I know I can do this job, but do they think I can do it? Ok, so with my resume and experience, I think they would think I can do it. Yet, the next day all I get is still a rejection letter. I lower and lower my expectation everyday but I still don’t know where the line is.

Being unemployed doesn’t hurt me at all, what hurts is not knowing who would employee me if the economy would normal.